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In light of the oncoming election, and recent economic downturn, please find below the classic explanation of politico/economic systems using 2 cows.
SOCIALISM - You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots 1 , milks the other, and then throws the milk away?
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have 2 cows. You sell 1 and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM - You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM - You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on 1 more. You sell 1 cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want 3 cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called `Cowkimon? and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION - You have 2 cows, but you don?t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION - You have 5000 cows. None of them belongs to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION - You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
-TG, TG, & GL, et al.
<<Needs slightly editted
It could go either way depending on which socialist you talk to. The degree to which a socialist believes the goverment should be involved in this ownership widely varies from one socialist to another.
Quoted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialism:
"Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society."
"Socialists mainly share the belief that capitalism unfairly concentrates power and wealth among a small segment of society that controls capital and creates an unequal society. All socialists advocate the creation of an egalitarian society, in which wealth and power are distributed more evenly, although there is considerable disagreement among socialists over how, and to what extent this could be achieved."
And to remain on-topic. My favourite one was the Enron one. That was hilarious.
-Evran
"Constitutions are meant to protect minorities -- not to take rights away from people." - Bruce Bastian
It could go either way depending on which socialist you talk to. The degree to which a socialist believes the goverment should be involved in this ownership widely varies from one socialist to another.
Quoted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialism:
"Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society."
"Socialists mainly share the belief that capitalism unfairly concentrates power and wealth among a small segment of society that controls capital and creates an unequal society. All socialists advocate the creation of an egalitarian society, in which wealth and power are distributed more evenly, although there is considerable disagreement among socialists over how, and to what extent this could be achieved."
And to remain on-topic. My favourite one was the Enron one. That was hilarious.
-Evran
"Constitutions are meant to protect minorities -- not to take rights away from people." - Bruce Bastian
