You step through the door and realize you must’ve taken a wrong turn and you’re not in the right office, however, an open scroll lies on the desk in front of you and your curiosity just won’t let you walk away from it. You slowly close the door, hoping to not draw any attention, before walking softly to the desk and picking up the missive.

You begin to read the document...

>To whom it may concern,

>Greetings, allow me to introduce myself, I’m Malakye Augstawne the owner and proprietor of Augstawne Lefns Cehs in the Riverhaven Market Plaza. I specialize in fine fashion to beautify the populous of our treasured Elanthia. If you are not familiar with my shop, I encourage you to visit sometime and browse my wares. Perhaps I may have something for you, my dear reader.

>However, I did not write you to extol upon the virtues of my business venture, but to bring attention to what I see as a gross oversight on behalf of our lawmakers. Are you aware that it is perfectly legal for anyone to simply wander the streets in naught but a loincloth? A loincloth! As if that was suitable outwear, which I pray you know it is not. Because it is not.

>When I questioned one of the local Riverhaven Wardens about the issue, they told me that parading around town as such was not a crime. Can you believe that? Not a crime? Oh, but I disagree. It is a grave crime, indeed. One that strikes at the very heart of proper society and cultural refinement.

>As I’m sure you’re aware, pleasing methods of dress are not a selfish action, it is actually a sign of respect to onlookers that you acknowledge that unsightly attire is offensive to the eyes. Yet, the province and city allow such offenses to go by unpunished or without reprimand at the very least. What sort of image does that portray of us, the citizens of the best province in the whole five lands?

>More to the point, what sort of message are we sending to the flood of tourists and travelers who pass through our borders? That despite the noble and valiant history of these lands, it’s people who are the picture of high moral standing and stalwart spirit, and these lands which radiate such unparalleled beauty… are allowed to be besmirched by some overweight urchin clothed in a hand towel.

>Tsk.

>So, I write to beseech you, aide me. Let’s all work together to erase the blight of loincloths from our lands. Let us put it to a law, so those who flagrantly insult fashion by assuming such things as outerwear can be held accountable for their offenses. I simply cannot do it alone. I am but a shopkeeper, a very good one, but still of little to no power in the ways of governmental affairs.

>I implore you, help me to help us all.

>Malakye Augstawne


As you place the letter back on the desk, you barely stifle a laugh at the utterly ridiculous request. There’s no way that would ever fly, you think to yourself, it’s just too crazy. As you leave the office to return to your search for the item registrar, you make a mental note to visit the shop and see what this Trader has that makes him think he’s so much better than everyone else.

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Keishalae raises her hand level with her eye and stares at Malakye through her fingers while she makes a quick pinching motion. Malakye's head explodes like a grape!