Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/03/2006 11:39 PM CDT
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[Mongers' Bazaar, Traders' Market]
The large open tent billows with every caress of wind from above, pressing against the taut lines and wooden frame that hold the structure in place. Tables line the center of the tent, ready to be set full of wares in hopes of attracting an eager eye and a heavy pouch. You also see a rickety market table with some stuff on it, a polished market table with some stuff on it, a nicked market table with some stuff on it, a dusty market table with some stuff on it, and a market guard.
Also in the room: Toastmaster Duane, Battle Grace Raglir, Wound Bearer Benthulus, Traveler Lovin, Alley Fighter Walcar, and Retailer Junker.
Obvious exits: east, southeast, south.

A large mammoth charges into the room and flattens Danner by sitting on him suddenly. A long, trumpet-like flatulence emanates from the mammoth as it gets back up again and charges from the room.

You babble unintelligibly for a while.

Walcar asks, "What?"

You exclaim, "Muddy!"

You exclaim, "I hate muddy!"

Walcar asks, "What on Elathia was that?"

You say, "Muddy the Mammoth"

You say, "He hates me"

You scowl.

You rise to a kneeling position.

You stand back up.

A Human table monger wanders southeast as he counts his tables.

You sigh.

You say, "At least he didn't leave residue like last time"

You mutter to yourself.

Walcar asks, "Where the mammoth come from?"

You say, "Gods only know, I swear he's magical"

Small, watery brown-colored drops fall off Danner with a soft splash. What in the world could that be?

You mutter to yourself.

You scream!

Walcar laughs!

You fall over. Oof!

You thrash around on the floor.

Walcar says, "Yuck"

You exclaim, "he got me!"

You slump limply across the ground, but just don't feel like you did a good job of playing dead.
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

Walcar chortles softly at some secret joke.

You whimper.

You ask, "Why does the world hate me?"

You exclaim, "No wonder I keep getting infections!"

You stand back up.

The foul stench of something unpleasant drifts upon the air. It seems to be coming in the direction of Danner.

You shudder.

You gag, desperate for air!

Walcar laughs!

You get a burned culebras cigar from inside a cigar box labeled "Danner" which is in your travel pack.

You get a piece of black flint from inside a cigar box labeled "Danner" which is in your travel pack.

You drop a burned culebras cigar.

You get a maple-handled outdoors knife from inside your thigh quiver.

You strike a piece of black flint against a maple-handled outdoors knife, causing a shower of sparks over the culebras cigar which smolders, then bursts into flames.
Roundtime: 4 seconds.

You say, "Here, maybe this will help the stench"

You shudder.

You put your knife in your thigh quiver.

You put your flint in the cigar box which is inside your travel pack.

You pick up a burning culebras cigar.

You take a long drag off of a burning culebras cigar.

You breathe out some tobacco smoke.

You shudder.

You weakly say, "I feel sick"

_____________
Danner
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/04/2006 09:12 AM CDT
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Bravo Muddie! Encore! Encore!

Oh and I'm looking at October or November for a fancy party in a nice remote place for all us Olvi. Though Danner, I think I'll have to ask you to leave your magical pets at home and to please take a bath first.

~Eoworfinia~
A snow goblin reaches down and gently pets your corpse, then quickly looks about to make sure no one noticed.
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/04/2006 12:46 PM CDT
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At least you didn't get cow patties. =(

~Arwinia

It's mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/07/2006 09:14 AM CDT
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>Though Danner, I think I'll have to ask you to leave your magical pets at home and to please take a bath first.

I've taken five... and I still feel soiled <weeps silently>


Danner
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/07/2006 03:39 PM CDT
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That was precious. He told me about it at his brother's wedding over the weekend, but reading it is an absolute howl. Thanks Dremara, and thanks for posting it Danner. I sure wish my internet connection hadn't been down so I could have witnessed that in person.

Mudwort
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/07/2006 05:11 PM CDT
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>>I've taken five... and I still feel soiled <weeps silently>

Wear spiked armor. Mammoths might not be all that bright, but they still learn. Of course, you do run the risk of getting stuck to the matted fur and Muddy carrying you off unnoticed...

J'Lo, no that other one
The Manipulation List -- http://symphaena.com/index.html
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/07/2006 09:15 PM CDT
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>Wear spiked armor. Mammoths might not be all that bright, but they still learn. Of course, you do run the risk of getting stuck to the matted fur and Muddy carrying you off unnoticed...

Oooohhhhh..... :::insert evilest grin ever:::

-GM Dremara :-)
Team Wedding
Olvi Champion
Member of ERLP & Official mascot owner of Muddy

"Life is a journey... Enjoy the ride!"
"Smile.... people will wonder what you're thinking about!"
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/07/2006 10:09 PM CDT
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Poor Danner. Who knows where Muddy will take him now. Lets have a wake for Danner now so he can enjoy it too. hehe


~Eoworfinia~
A snow goblin reaches down and gently pets your corpse, then quickly looks about to make sure no one noticed.
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/08/2006 07:36 AM CDT
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I would like to state for the record that the first time Muddie sat on me, I was in fact wearing heavy leather armor with spiked shoulder plates, and I did not stick.

His hide must be too sturdy for a wee Olvi's spikes to have enough gripping ability.

Now, however, I shall strive to make sure I'm always greased up, so I just squirt out from under the beast.


Danner
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/08/2006 05:20 PM CDT
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>>to make sure I'm always greased up<<

Gets a sick look on her face & turns away

Yuuuccckkkk

Diane


"Cry for the gods, cry for the people
Cry for the land that was taken away
And then yet you'll find, Hawai'i."
Brother Iz, RIP brudda.
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/08/2006 09:33 PM CDT
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>Now, however, I shall strive to make sure I'm always greased up, so I just squirt out from under the beast.

How's about I just tell Muddy to eat you instead. That should have the desired effect you're looking for too!

-GM Dremara :-)
Team Wedding
Olvi Champion
Member of ERLP & Official mascot owner of Muddy

"Life is a journey... Enjoy the ride!"
"Smile.... people will wonder what you're thinking about!"
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/09/2006 06:39 AM CDT
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At least the digestive juices will kill me before I get to that end.

I'm such a poor abused olvi.

No body likes me
Everybody hates me
I'm gonna go eat WORMS!

<shuffles off>


Danner
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/09/2006 12:51 PM CDT
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>>to make sure I'm always greased up<<

Don't know about greased up but he was sure well oiled over the weekend.

Mudwort
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/09/2006 02:55 PM CDT
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Actually, alchohol dehydrates you.


Danner
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/09/2006 02:58 PM CDT
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Oiled... Oil Can... slag... drinking... normally refering to beer... sheesh and you are a Bard?

Get back to work man ;-)

Me 'n Him
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/09/2006 03:00 PM CDT
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Sigh...

slaNg... too excited with the game coming back up...


Sigh...

Ok back to work for me
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Re: Mammoth Wars: Muddie Strikes Back on 08/09/2006 04:18 PM CDT
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Oh, I was well aware of what the OTHER Muddie was saying, I was just doing my normal straightman bit. <grin>

Danner
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