Sling of Saemaus
Holy Enchantments or Divine Intervention book.
Not sure on prereqs.

Not sure it could/should have all of these effects, but my first thoughts:

Cast vs. Living (critter): Critter is stricken by 'lovesickness.' Essentially acts like a GS Avenger (present incarnation) for the duration.

Cast vs. PC: Similar to the above, but mechanically perhaps it just hits them with a calm status effect.

Cast vs. Undead: Not sure about this, the first thing that jumps out at me is that I don't believe clerics have a way to affect the undead with a web status effect. Perhaps contacting the undead could do something weird to the matrix of the spell and cause it to do something along those lines.

Self Cast: A random tart flies out of nowhere into the caster's open hand (if there is one). If cast without an open hand, maybe they get a tart to the face or something, I dunno.

Thanks.

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"Now won't you tell me if you like what you've just heard?
And if you think the point I'm driving at absurd,
Well there's no need to tell me how or tell me why,
But I need to know the reason not to try."
- John Popper, Onslaught

>>Self Cast: A random tart flies out of nowhere into the caster's open hand (if there is one). If cast without an open hand, maybe they get a tart to the face or something, I dunno.

A merry chuckle accompanies a tart inserting itself cleanly between your teeth. You are unable to speak for several seconds as you chew your way around it.


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"Close your eyes -
For your eyes will only tell the truth..
And the truth isn't what you want to see.
In the dark, it is easy to pretend
That the truth is what it ought to be." - Erik Claudin